Love Him like Jesus

” Just love him like Jesus, carry him to Him, His yoke is easy His burden is light. Don’t need the answers to all of life’s questions… just know that He loves him and stay by his side…just love him like Jesus….”   -Casting Crowns

Forgive me for not posting sooner…..of all the times to begin having a writers block…it has been more like a heart block as many of you know I express my feelings and thoughts best when I write and when the first medical team came in about 3 weeks ago to serve and when I began to process so many things that tugged so much on my heart it was to difficult to put it down in writing. The Lord is gently nudging me with this story as I know in my heart He wants me to share what He is teaching me. 

As many of you know there is a little boy named Thomas that can’t be more than 8mo. old that I have asked many of you to pray for. His little head began to grow bigger weeks ago and at that time he was in much pain. The reality that I am not in Kansas anymore began to set in, for in the states Thomas may have been able to be treated, but we are in a 3rd world country where there is no luxury of specialist or facilities. The faciltiy we do have here is a major blessing to this area of Haiti and changing the health of this region, but again we are not in the U.S.

Many weeks ago we thought little Thomas would not survive and that Jesus would be taking him home soon. Little did any of us know that he would continue to live and his head would continue to grow and he would continue to be in pain. I’ll be honest it was so very hard for me to go and see him when I heard about him and I thought if I stayed away I wouldn’t get attatched and my heart wouldn’t break so bad. God kept nudging me though to see this little boy face to face, to lay aside my tender heart, and as the song says above…”Just love Thomas like Jesus, carry him to Him. His yoke is easy, His burden is light. I don’t need the answers to all of life’s questions….just know that He loves Thomas and stay by his side…love Thomas like Jesus“. 

The past couple of  weeks the Lord has been nudging me even more to spend time with Thomas and not just see him, but sing over him and pray over him. He has my whole heart now for as I go in each day I am brought to tears as I give him a gentle touch and sing songs and tell him Jesus loves him. I pray for healing and comfort knowing that the reality is that it will be found in the arms of his Heavenly Father and that I can rest knowing that. The time that I spend with him is so very precious.  Today as I actually was able to hold him, he was quiet and still and his eyes were focused on mine as tears streamed down my cheeks and I thought  “Can he see the light of Jesus within me? Can he feel the arms of Jesus holding him? Can he hear the songs of Jesus?”  I believe he can and that brings me great joy.

  For just a brief moment I imagined Jesus and the suffering He faced and I could see myself at the foot of the cross wanting to take care of His nail scarred hands and feet and to wipe His brow. I don’t like that word suffer very much…especially when it comes to children, but I pray that my heart is strong enough to love them like Jesus. To  love Thomas like Jesus. To have what a new sister in Christ calls stubborn compassion. To love Thomas home.

Please pray for little Thomas and pray for all of the missionaries here that we would “love the Haitian people like Jesus” and to press on when our hearts are weary. May we lean into the Father’s arms and spur one another along as we serve Him.

***I wrote this on Nov. 4 and thought I had posted it, but on Nov. 18 Thomas went home to be in the arms of his Heavenly Father. “I love you little one and thank you for changing my heart and so many others. I look forward to the day I see your smiling face and hug you once again.”****

My Bodyguards:>)

Javinsky, look at that smile:>)

Wisley, such a wonderful laugh.

Javinsky and Wisley are a couple of boys I’ve known for a while. Javinsky was just a little babe when I held him in Aug. of 2007 and didn’t quite have that huge smile he has now. Oh how the Lord has grown him!! Wisley was a little smaller than he is now, but you could tell that having 3 meals a day was growing him into a very big boy. He is built like a brick house and his laugh just grabs my heart. Everytime I walk into the baby orphanage I get these sweet words from Wisley ” Wisley “aye, ou”  translated (you guessed it) ” hey, you”.  Such an affectionate call don’t you think? You have to hear him say it to appreciate the affe

ction…again it grabs my heart. I will come in and give the boys hugs and on this particular day I picked up Wisley because he looked a bit tired and it was almost nap time and we sat in a rocking chair and Javinsky came over and layed his hands on my lap and then his head. He took a big sigh as if to say “I’m good right where I am.” There is nothing more sweeter than holding on to the little ones and showing them that they are loved.They yearn and crave to have a touch from someone, to be held, to be played with. There are days when I sit on the floor and I will be trampled by a heard (to people heard?) of little ones all trying to sit on my lap or beside me or anywhere near me. I have to start singing a song  just to keep them from hurting me. When I sing they tend to stop and just listen or they do the motions to the song. I am so humbled that God has chosen me to love on these little ones and it is my prayer that they see Jesus in me and not me. There is a saying I think it goes like this ” hug them tightly, but hold them loosely”. Just as I had to let go of so many young people back home I have to daily give these little ones over to the Father. He is in control of their lives and I just want Him to use me in whatever way He desires me to be used.

 For these two little boys on this one particular day God used them to show me that the things I have been showing them and speaking to them have been noticed and they have  picked up on certain things…like how to be gentle and nice. Hannah and Haliegh are twins and can be the sweetest little girls, but they have started to scratch and bite me when they don’t get enough attention. I catch them before they take a bite (especially on the behind side!!!) I have been telling the kids in Kreyol to be nice or gentle with one another. This day the girls came after me while I was in the chair with the boys and I saw them gere up with mouths and open. Wisely sat up and said “no, pa fi sa.” translated “no don’t do that”. Both boys stood in front of me as I was sitting and just watching this whole scene transpire. They both told the girls “gentille, gentille” (gentle or be nice) and they would show the motion I used of gently touching and stroking my arm. I think the girls were dumbfounded as they didn’t know what to do. The boys just kept repeating and never lashed out to attack the girls themselves (which I have seen with all of the kids). They stood their ground and were my protectors. It was just yet another confirmation to me that I am where I am suppose to be and that these little ones need direction and teaching. Pray for Hannah and Haliegh if the Lord should bring them to your heart and for all these little ones. Haiti’s future is in this next generation of kids. May they come to know Jesus as their Savior and may this generation of children change the future of this country by seeking Him and Him alone!!!

Asking for Mountains

Back in the beginning of Aug. there was a stretch of time where I had several people question the finances of the mission I was getting ready to embark on. More like “there is no money coming in”  and “where is going to come from”. I knew my faith was being tested once again to see if I would press in and on or throw in the towel. This wasn’t the first time I had that choice for along this journey this test has continued to come up.  I have to be honest and say I was beginning to fall into that trap of questioning, but then the Lord reminded me He had brought me to this point and to trust Him. It came down to the first entry of this blog “moment by moment obedience”.I had decided from the very beginning that I would press on. On this particular day (Aug.3) my mom placed a devotion on my bed for me to find that spoke volumes to me and encouraged me, so I thought I would share it with all of you….

Asking for Mountains   Joshua 14:12 ” Now give me this hill country that the Lord promised me that day. You yourself heard then that the Anakites were there and their cities were large and fortified, but, the Lord helping me, I will drive them out just as he said.”

      “Caleb’s faith in God never wavered, though everyone around him doubted. God convinced Caleb that the children of Israel should enter the Promised Land, but the people were intimidated by giants and fortified cities (Num. 13:28-23). Their disbelief forced Caleb to wait forty years in the wilderness before he finally entered the Promised Land. Even after all those years Caleb was  as confident as ever in God’s power.

When God was dividing the land among the Israelites, the people were asking for the lush valleys and grassy plains. Caleb asked for a mountain. The Israelites had driven their enemies into the mountains, where  they had built fortresses. This did not intimidate Caleb—he asked for a challenge!! He did not trust in his own strength but in God’s presence. Caleb longed to see God work in power, and he knew he would be less likely to rely on God if he dwelt in the easy places. He chose a situation in which he would have to trust in God. Caleb knew his inheritance from God was on the mountain. He refused to allow the difficulty of gaining it to stop him from enjoying all that God had promised him.

If you always choose the easy way, asking for the peaceful valleys, you will never see God’s power displayed to enable you to take a mountain. Seek out the mountains, and you will witness God doing things through your life that can be explained only by His mighty presence.”

(I wish I could remember where this devotion came out of. It may be from Max Lucado or Chuck Swindoll or neither.)

Caleb had a different spirit within him not different in who the Spirit within was, but different in that he did not go along with the crowd or do what everyone else was doing or thinking. He believed in God’s power and His presence in His life. How many of us believe in God’s power and presence in our own lives? I trust that God will provide thru whomever He chooses and I trust that His timing is perfect, not only when it comes to finances, but in the opportunities He has prepared for me. Just like Caleb I want to have a different spirit, a spirit that asks for mountains to be able to see  God’s power and presence in my life.  What about you?

Class Time With the Girls

Class Time Pose…Say Cheese!

Mikela, Malaya and Rosie have been a joy to teach…not to say we haven’t had our moments…but we are learning and growing with Christ at the center of our day. There have been so many teachable moments with the girls from patience to sharing. Character building moments such as learning to listen to not only the teacher, but to one another and their parents. Learning to try and not never say can’t. My former athletes out there know what happens when we say the word can’t !!!! No crunches or pushups yet. We have another way right now. We are learning that God has created us each differently and that He has made each of us special…that He will use us in different ways.  We are learning our abc’s and 1,2,3’s and the difference between our elbows and our knees. We are singing songs and learning rhymes, reading books and drawing lines (like my rhyme…lol).We have Max the dog who is learning too, Billy our weather Frog, and Bob the bear who begins our day with prayer. We have other friends that visit from time to time. We draw different shapes and have Bible time. I am looking forward to seeing how God is going to teach each of these girls this year. Pray that they will keep a teachable heart and that they will grow in Christ-like character. Pray that I will train them in the way that they should go and that I will have wisdom and discernment to be the teacher God has called me to be.   

Praise the Lord for Duke the Wonder Dog!!!

I have been on the campus of the Northwest Haiti Christian Mission for 2 weeks now and from the very first day I have been befriended by a black lab named Duke. You could say he is somewhat of a horse…yes that is an exageration, but he is a pretty big dog and as sweet as can be. When he runs he very well looks like a huge horse galloping. For the first four days on campus I camped out in the intern lounge, as the room I am staying in was not quite ready ( it needed to be somewhat rat proofed). The men on campus painted the room and placed new screens in the windows so the Ratatouille could not get in. It is funny but all the time I was thinking about running into the dreaded tarantula’s and such I forgot about the pesky rats.  When I moved in I noticed a huge whole (big enough for Ratatouille to enter) and the guys couldn’t get any cement so I used my MacGyver skills and plugged the hole with an old empty can that was left in the room and used MacGyver tape to tape it in and cover all entry. I prayed this would be strong enough to keep all critters out. I was pretty proud of myself that I figured out how to plug the whole:>)  My first night was pretty sleepless as I saw a rat outside on the wires and then it jumped onto the screen at that very moment though something big pushed open my door whom I thought was a person and as I reached for my flashlight it was “Duke”. He scared the rat away and he just barged in and walked into the shower. He looked at me and then layed right down.  I was o.k. with “Duke the Wonder Dog” sleeping with me when he scared away the critters. Since that first night he barged in he has come in quite a few more times especially those nights I am feeling a bit anxious about the critters. I know this may seem like a small thing, but I really do Praise the Lord for Duke because I know the Lord has placed him he just to give me a bit of peace. There are so many things the evil one uses to shake us and give us a restless spirit. He will try to even come in thru the back door without you even realizing it. He tries those small suttle situations that you wouldn’t think would be a big deal, but if you are not watching…if your not keeping your Jesus goggles (as one of my friends calls them) on his foot slips in. My God is my Protector and my Peace and there is no need for me to fear or be anxious. He is my Rock in whom I place my trust and whom I take refuge in. No Ratatouille will shake me. No weapon formed against me will prosper I have prayed so many times. Thank you Jesus for Duke and for placing him here for me. Lord you could have chosen to allow me to face the critters alone, but you chose to use one of your creations to walk me thru and calm my heart. Mesi Jezi….Mwen renmen Ou.” Jesus hears our hearts from the smallest to the largest cry and His timing and provision is perfect!!!!

How can one Pray?

* Pray for the hearts and lives of the Haitian people. That the chains that so easily entangle them will not only be broken, but demolished…that they will truly be set free. That they will hunger and thirst for Jesus, to know Him, and set aside those things that have been passed down from generation to generation.

*Pray that I will  train  Mikela, Rosie and Malaya in the ways that they should go and that God will be at the center of our days. Growing in knowledge, truth and His wisdom. (Prov.22:6)

*Pray Philippians 1:6  that He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it. As well as praying Ephesians 6:10-18.

* Pray for unity of the teams that come into the mission as well as for the missionaries that are on staff and interning. That we will all work  together as the body of  Christ. Being the hands and feet of Jesus. Pray for wisdom and discernment as we serve.

* Pray for health and strength to pursue His purpose and His will to be accomplished. Pray that when waves of nervousness or anxiousness come knocking at my heart and mind I will look unto the hills to where my help comes from, my help comes from the Lord.

* Pray that in all things we will give Christ the glory for great and mighty things He has done, He is doing and is going to do.

Keep Me True

I’ve see your glory and your holiness- You’re high and lifted, now I must confess that I long for a heart that is pure through and through- My prayer is to be more like You. (chorus)

Here in Your presence, Lord I humbly bow- With holy reverence I see you now and I long for a heart that is pure through and through-My prayer is to be more like You. (chorus)

You are the Potter and I am the clay; Mold me and make me like You more each day- Create in me Lord a heart pure and true I want to be more like you. (chorus).

Chorus: I want to be holy like You- Holy like you, Lord Jesus- Make me I pray, holy like You- Holy like You, Lord Jesus.

-Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir LIVE- God is Working

In these last few days before I leave for Haiti I have to admit I feel a twinge of anxiety trying to creep into heart and as I sleep at night I am a bit more restless. Up until now I have been walking in the light and peace of the Lord knowing that what I am stepping out to do is where God wants me to be. I guess I have had to many people asking me if I am ready to go and to this point I have claimed a resounding YES (except for packing), but last night I began questioning if I am really ready…which was my first mistake. I pulled out the lyrics to the song above tonight to remind me and to ask Jesus to Keep Me True.  It is amazing how the Lord can take lyrics to a song that can speak directly to our hearts and encourage us as we walk in His ways. I was also encouraged this evening by one of the young women I connected with on my first mission to Haiti. It was a blessing to chat with her and recall our conversations from that trip about what the Lord was placing on our hearts and how He has been preparing each of us. Seeing how God moves in the lives of His children and the passion He places upon on our hearts to be His hands and feet.  

Lord Jesus Keep Me True…Make me an Instrument in the Redeemers Hands.

Moment By Moment Obedience

 ”It is  the process, not the outcome that is glorifying to God. God’s purpose is to enable me to know that   He can walk on the storms of my life right now. If  we have a further  goal in mind we are not paying full attention to the present time. However, if we realize that moment by moment obedience is the goal then each moment when it comes is precious.” This quote by Oswald Chambers has spoken to me more than once in the moments I have taken to follow where God has been leading me.  So it seems only fitting that I would start the first lines of this blog sharing this quote and dedicating this blog to my Lord. For He is the One who speaks in me and thru me and He is the One that should be glorified.